Unheard Voices: EG’s new comment series offering a safe place to speak out

What do you do when you need to uncover the truth, but people don’t feel safe enough to speak out publicly? You give them the space to talk. In the first of a new comment series, we are calling on anyone who feels discriminated against, alone or isolated within the real estate sector to tell their stories without having to reveal their names. Sometimes the only way to get to the truth is to shroud it in anonymity. We all know there are ongoing issues within real estate around diversity and inclusion. But can we honestly say we are informed enough about other people’s experiences to fully appreciate exactly what sort of issues they are facing and how they can be properly addressed? There are moves being made across the industry to change and be better – a task that will prove much harder if the full extent of the problems remain unspoken. Here at EG, we could no longer ignore how often we were hearing stories about how people really feel and, almost universally, how often they didn’t want to publicly recount those stories for fear of repercussions, of being judged and of having their careers compromised. In some cases there is a fear of speaking out, of holding the industry to account and revealing what needs to be done to put things right. In others it is a fear of simply being honest, of sharing experiences and letting others know “you are not alone”. While there is still such a long way to go as the industry works towards being more diverse and more inclusive, these stories need to be aired. That is why we have launched Unheard Voices, a new EG comment series where people can anonymously recount their experiences and share their thoughts in the hope that awareness will be raised and others will feel inspired to speak up too. Thank you to our debut writer for being brave enough to be the first to share their story. If you would like to contribute as an “unheard voice”, please contact Emily Wright at emily.wright@eg.co.uk “We were in a love triangle. Him, me and my dream job. Next, he asked me to dinner…” COMMENT Revelations about a company culture are often considered a scandal. The people speaking out are called whistle-blowers. The company’s actions are called cover-ups. The thing with scandals is that they often come as no surprise to people with one or two degrees of separation from the source. When the front pages are plastered with news about the misdeeds of a business, you can see the nodding heads who have been discussing these matters privately for years. Our western society is built on the values of democracy and freedom, which means we should expect to have a voice. But usually our working environments are set up to only reward goals and ignore responsibility. Nothing is a secret, and yet everything is kept quiet. Every day, the culture of silence covers up the truths that surround us. And our professional successes are intrinsically linked to maintaining this status quo so that we can thrive in our silence. So, why should any of this matter to those who are benefiting from these rules of privilege? I am often surprised at the candour of people within the real estate industry in exposing their biases, the most common being: why does everything need to be addressed? Why can’t everyone be polite, work hard and get ahead as they have done traditionally? Mismatch in opportunity Colour, gender, sexual preference and nationality should not matter if you are “good at the job”. But unfortunately, this is also a statement I often see being made by people who are just adequate or, I can say behind this shield of anonymity, mediocre at their jobs. If the platform of opportunity was, in fact, equal, I question how many people would have achieved the success that they take for granted today. The privilege to succeed comes from a mismatch in opportunity, and the equality of opportunity is the bedrock of capitalism. The next section of this column is challenging. It’s a story which I have repressed for so long that I have almost convinced myself that it did not happen. The idea of writing about it makes my hands sweat, and every click of the keyboard feels so conscious. The following words are severely edited and revised, because the first time I wrote this paragraph I just broke down and cried. The keys are dry now, and I will tell the story through the facts. More than an interview I was a young woman in my mid-twenties looking to start a career in real estate private equity. Every person I spoke to told me that the best way to get started was to network within the industry. I should talk to people and tell them about myself. I did precisely that. One day I had an interview with a real estate private equity firm. I was excited. I had spoken to the head of investments and the chief executive before. I was hopeful. We started the meeting with a chat about my education and then about their current investment strategy. After 40 minutes, the chief executive left me to continue chatting with the head of investments. “Let’s grab a coffee tomorrow and talk about this some more,” he said as the meeting came to a close. I was elated. I accepted and walked out, thinking that I would enjoy working with this team. The next day I went to the proposed coffee meeting. We had a long conversation about recent deals. Then everything started to change. “I have never met someone who has such interest in real estate,” said my prospective employer. To this day, I still wonder why he found it so surprising that a woman who came for an interview in real estate would enjoy talking about it. “I love talking to you,” he went on. It was becoming clear that this was not a typical job interview. By now, we had discussed his divorce and very little about a role in the investment team, and he had made it clear that he was interested in me. We were in a love triangle. Him, me and my dream job. Next, he asked me to dinner. To hell with it. I was going to go. He was the head of the team that I wanted to join. Moving the goalposts Over dinner I asked him about my prospects and the job role I was in the running for. “I think I would prefer you in an investor relations role,” came the response. “I think for us to work on the same team would be difficult, especially since I am so fond of you.” I was gutted. I had wanted to join the investments team. He went on to explain how my sophisticated real estate talk would be perfect for the role. I had just been given an offer for a job to which I had never applied. I didn’t take it and he was furious. He reminded me that I was just a naive young girl who didn’t appreciate everything he did for me. He then continued to unload all the other things that I was not capable of. Even today, when I think of the experience, I want to curl into the foetal position. My throat closes up and I feel dizzy. I feel guilt, and I don’t know why. Older me has to remind myself that I had walked into a room for a job interview and exited it with what was effectively a date with a man who I would never have considered romantically otherwise. I was then pushed out of a candidate list for the job I wanted and placed into one which both he and his chief executive considered harmless enough not to affect their positions. Today he works as a senior manager at a reputable private equity firm. His team continues to be all-male. All of us stay silent about these microaggressions. We will do this because, like everyone else, we want to build a career and be successful. But there are always triggers. When opportunities continue to pass by those with merit or careers stand still with no path to progress, silence must be replaced with questions about the status quo. Nothing will matter more than righting these wrongs. I hope that this anonymous column is a place for introspection for an industry. I hope that it becomes a place to give voice and perspective. But most importantly, I hope it provides us with a lesson in understanding equality and the opportunity to create a thriving industry that doesn’t just depend on “luck”. To send feedback, e-mail newsdesk@eg.co.uk or tweet @EGPropertyNews See also: Speaking out in real estate – there is a fear it could jeopardise your future Photo © Anthony DeRosa/Pexels