Imposter syndrome is real. Let’s help women overcome it

COMMENT: I’m sure we have all felt like impostors at some time in our careers, regardless of gender, background or expertise. I have certainly had my fair share of moments where I have not felt as competent as others perceive me to be, leading to a perpetual worry that at any moment I will be discovered as a fraud and booted out with immediate effect. Nonetheless, I was stunned to hear just how many senior women in the industry feel self-doubt, inadequacy and low self-esteem when I reached out for a new mentoring scheme. Why is this? The typical transition through school, college, university or apprenticeship has defined, measurable goals. You do the work and you pass or fail. However, upon qualification you are classed as a professional and treated as such, when in truth you often have little idea what you are doing, nor the network of industry contacts you can lean on. In my first role as a graduate surveyor, I desperately wanted to learn and be useful, but had an unsupportive line manager who viewed ambition as precocious and resisted face-to-face meetings in favour of email.  It left me feeling insecure about my job and questioning my abilities. Fortunately, my brilliant line managers since then (both male and female) have more than made up for what was a difficult beginning, and renewed my love for the job. Learning along the way I am not alone in having experienced a rocky start; talent retention is key among young professionals. For women, who are notoriously bad at promoting their own interests, it does not help that just 5% of firms across the 350 biggest British companies are led by a female chief executive. As of April 2020, there were more chief executives called Peter than there were women in the top job in the FTSE 100. Nobody leaves university a ready-made, well-rounded businessperson. Everyone makes mistakes early on and learns from them along the way. For this reason, we collectively need to tackle imposter syndrome and understand that those biographies flaunting endless accolades are a result of a lot of failures and learning along the way. While my professional LinkedIn profile is factually correct, and I am proud of my achievements, the statistics that beam out from my screen are far from the full story. My public biography reads: “Vanessa Murray is a qualified chartered surveyor working with one of London’s top developers, having graduated with an MSc in rural estate management. Vanessa is also founder of Mentoring Circle, a cross-sector female mentoring scheme and an APC assessor. Vanessa’s achievements don’t stop outside the office, having reached Grade 8 in both piano and viola as well as completing both a marathon and a triathlon.” My alternative attempt is as follows: “Vanessa Murray is a qualified chartered surveyor, having first amassed huge levels of student debt completing an entirely unrelated degree in music. Working for one of London’s top developers, Vanessa frequently wears high-neck collars to meetings to hide the red neck she gets when nervous and after can be found at her desk googling acronyms she earlier nodded along to as if she knew what on earth they meant. Outside the office, Vanessa ran the slowest marathon known to man, after drastically underestimating the training required.” Turning doubts into opportunities The truth is that alongside my professional achievements are moments of failure which I have and continue to learn from. There are certainly no hard-and-fast rules to tackling impostor syndrome. But here are three tips I want to pass on to any young graduate reading this: • Ask the question. You are young and inexperienced. You are not expected to know everything. People will respect your willingness to gain knowledge and be useful in the working environment. • Don’t caveat yourself. There is never a reason you’ll need to use the words “quite” or “just”. You cannot expect people to invest in your recommendations if you have not positioned yourself confidently. • Say “yes” to every opportunity that comes your way. If you are not sure whether you can do something, ask yourself: “What is the worst that can happen?” 99 times out of 100 it is worth giving it a whirl. Just remember that FAIL really stands for First Attempt In Learning. I particularly want young women to believe that they have what it takes to be successful. I am not alone in my mission and have successfully recruited over 45 inspiring women in the industry who will be providing their expertise to Mentoring Circle, where young women will be encouraged to turn their doubts into opportunities for growth. Vanessa Murray is asset manager at Stanhope and founder of Mentoring Circle, a new female mentoring scheme partnering newly qualified surveyors with senior female professionals working in real estate