Diary: You better watch out

You better not cry or pout either, I’m telling you why: a Corbyn clause is coming to town… Property folks have always been a nervous bunch, but some are now taking extra trouble to cover their backs. Those in the know are requesting their lawyers to pop a “Corbyn clause” into their contracts, giving them a right to rescind the deal if there’s a Labour-led government after the election on 12 December. He might not be fat, but Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn sure has a white beard and he loves the colour red – though opinion is starkly divided over whether he himself is naughty or nice. And, just like Santa on Christmas Eve, the jam-making socialist is certainly keeping some leading property dealmakers awake at night. What’s on the box? Analysts at Jefferies took inspiration from the festive staple that is the Radio Times Christmas special to offer its own UK Election “TV Guide for Investors” – a “Christmas list of UK stocks to buy in December” based on four film-themed scenarios. Unfortunately, Jefferies leads, It’s a Wonderful Life is not among them. Instead the first option is Home Alone – a comfortable Tory majority has a 30% likelihood, so Brexit gets done, with a 20% chance of “no deal”. Then there is Love Actually, where a potential relationship blooms between the Tories and Lib Dems (30% chance), but the latter require a second referendum, leading to volatility and uncertainty through 2020. Next, A Christmas Carol – a harmonious Labour-led coalition also has a 30% chance, with an 80% chance of another referendum. Lastly, there is Trading Places – the unlikely event (only 10%, it says) that Jeremy Corbyn moves in to number 10. “The likelihood of remaining in Europe plus large fiscal stimulus may do more to help the UK than left-leaning policies hurt, potentially driving an acceleration in GDP growth in 2021,” Jefferies predicts. As with the usual Radio Times, there’s not much to look forward to this year – though we should all be thankful that the best Christmas film of all doesn’t form one of the scenarios: Die Hard. WeWork: The Movie As sure as somewhere, in a secret room in Disney HQ, that Frozen 3 must already be being prepped, a WeWork movie is in development. No, not from the House of Mouse (there will, alas, be no “Whistle While WeWork”). But some other Hollywood heavyweights are on board: producer Jason Blum is working with scriptwriter Charles Randolph on the project. Blum is the notable name behind such film franchises as Paranormal Activity, The Purge, and Insidious, as well as last year’s Halloween revival, while Randolph co-wrote the script for 2015’s star-studded The Big Short. That combination of horror and financial crisis sounds like the perfect recipe to tell this story. Not for nothing, after all, did a US magazine named Relevant report the news with the line: “No sooner have the fortunes of WeWork plummeted off the cliff of late capitalism pipe dreams and into the icy depths of reality than Hollywood smelled an opportunity.” Diary will be first in the queue at the cinema, and can’t wait to see the first teaser. *Adopts best trailer voice* “In a world… where economic volatility, internet connectivity and workplace flexibility shifted the traditional leased office space paradigm… only one company… could offer prosecco on tap.” Early retirement? Property managers were quick to promote a visit from Boris Johnson at Sherleys Court retirement village in Ruislip, west London. Hot off the campaign trail, the PM popped in for a cup of tea and a biccie with the pensioners in his home constituency last weekend. While Diary appreciates a pre-election shoehorn, we were most taken with the suggested picture caption line-up denoting “residents Valerie Clarke, Jean Forth, Patricia Murray, Boris Johnson and Kathleen Wilkinson.” A substitute for number 10 if it all goes wrong, perhaps? [caption id="attachment_1009832" align="aligncenter" width="847"] Picture: FirstPort[/caption] Earls Court at Royal Court In other real estate culture news, the Royal Court theatre, SW1, will be staging a play on what we have come to refer to as the Earls Court saga (Diary will permit that being used as the title on payment of our usual fee). It is being written by Alecky Blythe, whose “verbatim theatre company” Recorded Delivery takes a documentary approach to productions, typically using newspaper coverage, government reports and interviews as source material. We’re here if you need us, Blythe. Meanwhile, just as Diary has been preoccupied wondering who will play Adam Neumann in the WeWork movie – it has to be Adam Driver, surely? – there will also be some tricky questions facing the Royal Court. Who will tread the boards as Capco boss Ian Hawksworth? Who can convince as council leader Stephen Cowan? And can we come to the premiere, please?