Being in the closet exhausted me and made me ill

This week EG is focussing on LGBT inclusion in the real estate industry. Is enough being done to make everyone feel respected, rewarded and included in an industry that perhaps does not have the best track record on diversity? Over the course of this week, numerous professionals will share their stories, thoughts and advice on LGBT issues in property. Here, Kelly Canterford, senior surveyor at JLL, tells her story. What was it like coming out? I was racked with nerves when I came out to my parents, but I knew it was something I needed to do. As it turns out, they weren’t surprised and had been waiting for me to tell them (shame they didn’t tell me). They said it didn’t matter who I loved all they wanted was for me to be happy.  As for work, that was slightly different. Despite being out to family and friends I was in the closet for my first two jobs from university (neither were property), and judging by the banter which was thrown around my office I felt I had good reason to be. That changed when I interviewed at King Sturge – I was out from pretty much the first moment of my interview. Being in the closet for those two jobs had exhausted me and ultimately made me very ill. I was not prepared to do that again.  Saying that, as with all LGBT+ people, we come out on a daily basis; when I first started I recall being in a meeting with an older male surveyor and him asking a question about who I went on holiday with – my colleague shot me a look which I interpreted as “do not say your girlfriend” so I didn’t, but that did not feel comfortable. Over the years I’ve gained confidence, attitudes have changed and I can’t remember the last time I was faced with such a decision.    How have attitudes changed (or have they not)? On the whole yes, but like every part of life there are still some people who have an amazing lack of awareness. Although I have been out since I started working in property 13 years ago I no longer feel isolated, neither do I think about how I should refer to my girlfriend (friend, partner or girlfriend). For me that change came about 5 years ago when I went to my first Freehold event.  Until that moment I only knew of one other gay surveyor – who was based in Birmingham. Through Freehold I slowly met more LGBT+ surveyors until at one event I met some LGBT+ JLL colleagues. It was off of the back of this meeting that Building Pride was formed at JLL. The network has been instrumental in bringing about change. It has helped people come out at work and at home and we’ve been told it’s the reason some people choose to work here – increasingly, graduates want to know they are joining a diverse company.  A number of allies have told me they look to see if the company they are considering joining has a LGBT+ network and use this as a barometer of how diverse they are as a whole. What needs to change? I think there is a combined responsibility to change – I feel there is a responsibility as an LGBT+ person to come out if you feel comfortable doing so (I know this is controversial). Being out does two things, it creates more visible role models and it normalises LGBT+ people in the workplace.  The role of allies is also important both in standing-up for LGBT+ colleagues and calling out inappropriate behaviour, but also in helping normalise LGBT+ in the workplace by talking freely about their LGBT+ sibling/parent/friend. What advice would you give to someone worried about coming out in this industry? Do it when you want to and feel ready to. That may be in the interview, or days, weeks or even years in to your role. The key thing is not to rush it, the important person in this decision is you. If you want advice, speak to people within your employee network or, if you don’t have one, contact Freehold or Stonewall.  Although I have been “out” since I started in property, I have faced challenging circumstances in the past, and the support I received from Freehold gave me the confidence to know I was not alone and could be me. What would you like the industry to look like (in terms of diversity) in five or 10 years’ time? I would like to say equal pay for women, 50/50 representation at board level, BAME colleagues to be equally represented at all levels and for networks such as Freehold and Building Pride not to need to exist. Attitudes are changing and looking at history the momentum of this change is likely to increase. I would like to see older LGBT+ people feeling comfortable to come out. When some older people started working it wasn’t long since the decriminalisation of homosexuality and it was safer for them to be in the closet both personally and professionally.  I would also like to see offices with gender neutral toilets, it’s on the increase and will be a slow change. Who knows, maybe JLL will let us paint the logo in rainbow colours for Pride?